Music I Once Loved

Originally posted:  March 17, 2010

For this edition we are going waaaaay back to a time when I when I wore pink spandex shorts and Keds. Green was my favorite color, but not just any green. The type of green I loved was the one that burned itself into your retinas if you stared at it too long. When I hear this song I think of summer time and running around outside all day. We had this large peach tree in the backyard and I used to try and climb it when my mom wasn't looking. I think of summers that I laid on my deck in my bathing suit reading The Babysitter's Club and wishing that I could be Stacy or Claudia, but never Kristy because she was kind of bossy and she liked sports. If I skinned my knees, I would cry, but still wear shorts. I would swing all day and play elaborate pretend games with my sister. If I happen to come across this particular song while switching songs on the radio and happening upon a easy listening oldies station, I freeze and then turn it up. I hear this song and immediately one image springs to mind. I am with a childhood friend dancing around and singing into a hairbrush. I didn't know then that this would be the beginning of using inanimate objects as pretend microphones, but oh how that moment changed my life. True that I have moved onto bigger and better things such as remote controls and the occasional kitchen spoon, but the fun of it? Well that has never changed.

Priorities

Prior to having a child, I used to be a neat freak. Everything was always clean and mostly organized in some way or another. Once I had a kid, that was kind of thrown out the window. Some days I forgo all the daily cleaning in favor of some fun with my little one. Logan will only be little for so long, and dishes will always be in the sink.

Today we went to the aquarium. Logan ran around from exhibit to exhibit, and his excitement was contagious. People kept smiling at him. He touched a sting ray, and he shouted to me, "Mama! I touched his wing!" He just loved it.

I often think that one of the best things about being a parent, the thing I am constantly trying to become better at is to live in the moment. I need to forget about the laundry, the vacuuming, and dusting and simply live. I need to enjoy the little moments and this little person.

Happy List #1

A happy list. Pretty self explanatory, I guess. Rather than focus on the negative, I'm going to focus on the positive. The things that make me happy, but might otherwise go overlooked if I didn't stop for a moment and try to be just in the moment. What made me happy today? Here is just some things:

1. The look on my child's face when he watched the fireworks we bought.

2. Two little friends, fresh out of the the pool, squished in a chair together

3. My soon to be new walkway

4. My precious, cuddly kitties who I am more grateful for each day

5. A calm night time shih-poo puppy, complete with a couple of face licks

6. Impromptu songs about My Little Ponies

7. Getting told that I give "the best hugs in the whole world."

Music I Once Loved

First posted: 11/21/09

Here is my first music I once loved. Korn. I loved Korn when I was a teenager. Listening to this song reminds me of trench coats and those lovely tall boys. I know some of you might be thinking, trench coats, really? Yes really. Although ridiculous now, they were the leather jacket of the 90's. I'd wear black eye makeup and skip classes. I listen to this and I think of my locker with the word love scratched into it (by one of those tall boys) and the butterflies that slammed around in my stomach whenever I was with him. I'm always amazed that music is able to have such a strong memory to it. And while Korn is now somewhat cringe-worthy, I'd listen to it again for that alone.

What I would miss #1

When Logan was still a chubby cheeked wobbly little five month old baby, I returned to teaching. I spent two hours commuting and then time teaching and working after school and then grading papers at home. I was devastated. I hoped it would get better, but it simply didn't, at least not for me. I would come home and my mom (who was watching him at the time) would say things like, "Oh he did [insert a milestone] for the first time!" And I would act excited, but inside, I felt like I was missing it. All of it. My school was a small school and had budget cuts. I was the last hired, so of course I was the first laid off. I probably should have been sad, but I felt like I was given a gift. I left that day, and I never looked back.

Fast forward, and my little fellow is three and a half. It has flown by so fast that I don't even know where the time possibly could have gone. I often think about what I would have missed if I had chosen the alternative. Here's just some of what I would have recently missed:

• When Logan lays on the couch watching a television show and he rests his little bare feet on my leg criss-crossed.
• The snuggle-y bed headed boy in the mornings that insists on eating non-breakfast foods or dipping his pancakes in ketchup.
• The tiny little hand that always finds its way into mine whenever we get near a parking lot.
• Today, Logan picked up a dandelion, blew on it and said, "I wish that Mommy and me will be best friends forever."

Simple things. Small things to some, but larger than life things to me. 

One Drawer at a Time

Let me clear the crickets away from this blog, and share a little bit of spring cleaning. I don't actually have a before picture. I was too ashamed. It was BAD. Witness protection program bad. I'm not even kidding. Half of the junk in the drawer was tossed into the trash. The other half was tools. I don't use tools, so there is only one culprit in this house that may have left them there (I write smugly, since I'm obviously not at fault for the mayhem). 

 My rubbery shelf liner was kind of crumpled and icky, so that was tossed in the trash as well. Once the drawer was completely empty, I vacuumed it out, wiped it out, and then put some pretty wrapping paper on the bottom. I don't know if it will last very long, but it is a colorful surprise, and it will do until I buy something else. 

I cleaned out our silverware tray and threw a bunch of stuff into the dishwasher. Our kitchen silverware drawer also doubles as a junk office supply drawer, and I didn't want to toss everything back in. But I also didn't feel like spending a million dollars on organizational stuff. I stopped at the dollar store and picked up two three packs of containers for two dollars. 

Be prepared for the big reveal, my friends....... 

Totally hot right? Hmmm.... maybe not the right word, but I'm pretty happy about it. I basically stuck like items together. Now I have a organized drawer, with one cat toy laser pointer that is randomly in with the scissors. I appreciate a little bit of chaos, after all. 

Also... I know what some of you are wondering, and yes, I do have more utensils. They were just getting squeaky clean in the dishwasher. 

Tactics

Some nights I wake up in the middle of the night and can't fall back to sleep. Actually, most nights lately. After I go to the bathroom and drink some water, I run through a rather long list of ways to get back to sleep. What do I do when I can't sleep at 2:30 in the morning? Apparently blog, and some of these:

• I try not to think about the fact that I once heard that ghost like to visit around this time. I'm a horrible wimp. 
• I just try laying there. I try to empty my mind completely. Every time a thought or anxiety creeps in I         just try to push it away.
• I count backwards from 100 to zero.
• I do a mental walk through in my head of my childhood home. I try to remember every little detail I possibly can.
• I think of things that make me happy.
• If that doesn't work, I do something for a little while. Usually, I put the tv on or go on Pinterest. I try to avoid Facebook. 
• I lay back down and if there is no going back to sleep, I wait until it starts to get light and I get up.

Do you ever have sleepless nights? What do you do to help yourself get back to sleep?

These Moments

He is getting too heavy for me to carry for long periods of time. He runs fast and giggles often. He has perfected his mad face. He loves music. He sings to every song in the car, and asks me to sing along. He says things like, "We LOVE Adele/ Lady Gaga/ Taylor Swift." He calls me his "sweet Babu" and requests "beautiful hugs." He is the most beautiful boy. 

12 Resolutions for 2012

A new year is always full of fresh promise. It's an opportunity to do things different, perhaps even better. I really liked some of the ones that I had last year, and I still need to keep trying some of the old ones. For 2012, here's what I hope to accomplish:


1. Lose some weight.
2. Eat healthier and more clean
3. Plan my meals for the week
4. Clean and organize every drawer in the house
5. Create a mail center to finally corral the paper clutter
6. Read more books
7. Take more pictures
8. Write down three things I am grateful for each day.
9. Decorate my house. Hang things on the walls. I'm not sure what those things will be yet.
10. Learn to sew.
11. Be a super fun mama to a super fun kid.


Finally, because I liked this one, and it was incredibly motivating the first time around, I'm keeping this one again:


12. Be Brave. Do something new every week, even if it scares me.

Sharing at:

2011 Resolutions, Revisited

I always like to look back at last year's resolutions and see how I did. I'm sharing with you, and plan on sharing my new ones this week! Here is a blast from the past, January 2011:

1. Venture out more into blogging. This means writing more often, including some new topics that I'm passionate about, linking up to parties, and leaving comments. The last two are a little scary, cause I'm kind of shy sometimes.
Hey, I kind of did this one! When I started this year I had about five followers, and now I am super lucky to have  a bunch more. 

2. Continue our voyage into attempting to live more frugally. I want to make use of more free and wonderful resources that are available in our area. I'm contemplating making my own cleaners (which goes hand in hand with my desire for a healthier, greener living). I plan to start utilizing meal planning and coupon clipping more often. I want to save more money in order to continue to stay at home with my little boy.
I did some of this too! I make my own laundry soap and dishwasher soap. I make a great deal of more food from scratch. I tried to make my own bread. I still need to meal plan more often and be more consistent with my coupon usage. 

3. Live healthier. It's really a nicer way of saying that I want to lose weight. I'm hoping to include more new recipes that are healthy and yummy into our diets. I'm on a mission to try new fruits and vegetables, be more active, and feel happier. And I might just buy the Thirty Day Shred with some of my birthday money. I feel a little afraid after typing that last sentence.
I've incorporated new healthy recipes into our diet. My kiddo eats fruits and veggies like they are going out of style. 

4. Become an organization princess. The Martha Stewarts out there leave me in envy. I'm just like them, in believing that everything should have a place. BUT sometimes while cleaning up, I end up with stuff that doesn't have a designated place, and someone is ringing the doorbell and I will *cough*cough*cough shove said homeless stuff just anywhere it will fit for the time being. By "anywhere" I usually mean the computer armoirethat I never use. It is one of my shameful secrets. But this year I'm making up for it. In my mind this means restarting (and sticking to) my cleaning schedule, purging, and organizing even those areas that I don't often address until it is too late. Helloooooooo kitchen pantry, and closet o' mystery in the basement. I'm coming for you.
I am just started working on this one in December. I am looking forward to continuing this is 2012.

5. Make my house prettier. I've been inspired by all those in blogland who live on a budget but manage to make their houses beautiful by using their creativity and imagination. I have a couple of new things that I want to attempt. Perhaps even BY MYSELF..... WITH TOOLS.
It just didn't happen this year.

6. Be brave. Try at least one new thing every week for a whole year. It is easy for me to get stuck in a rut and have one week blend into the next. I'm going to make a conscious effort to do something that may or may not be enjoyable and may or may not make me comfortable. But I am bound to learn something. Hopefully about myself.
I started this one with a vengeance, but started to slack off as the year went on. But I did do one thing this year that was super brave, and that I thought I would never do. I entered into therapy. It hasn't been easy, but I know that in the long run, there will be a very large benefit. 

7. Continue to try and be the best possible parent that I can be. With extra kisses.

I have tried to do this every day. But it is my personal belief that there are just never enough kisses. 

I heart: Old School TV

Do you remember your favorite television shows as a kid or a  teenager? I do. Distinctly. As a matter of fact, I have a list of my very favorite television shows to share with you right now!

1. Full House

This is the first show I ever remember looking forward to each week.  I related to DJ, since I was the oldest of three girls. My middle sister was always being stopped in the store, because they thought she was Michelle.  I loved that it showed a non-traditional family, and that any problem was resolved happily in thirty minutes...... well except for the one episode with Michelle falling off a horse. Plus, Uncle Jessie was cute!

2. Saved By The Bell

I really don't remember how old I was when I watched Saved by the Bell, but I do remember thinking it was the best thing in the whole world. It was even better than neon jellies and Wilson Phillips. I wanted to be Kelly Kapowski. I was in love with Zack Morris. Reflecting on it now, I realize that Saved by the Bell must have been where my love for trouble makers originated. In hindsight, I probably should have stood away, but who am I kidding? This show was five pixie sticks all at once with a chaser of Kool-Aid (which I was never allowed to drink, by the way).

3. Boy Meets World

My oh my.   Cory would rant and do crazy things in the name of love, even if no one else believed. Eric was funny. And the very lovely Shawn Hunter was gorgeous and bit troubled, which meant I totally spent a fair share of my time fantasizing about dating him. I loved that as they got older it showed how strong and important childhood friendships could become.  I watched every single episode, and ate it up. I just adored EVERY. SINGLE. MINUTE. I still watch the reruns when I catch them, and love them just the same.

4. Dawson's Creek

4. Dawson's Creek was my ultimate favorite show as a teenager. Dude..... (*hello 90's flashback*) these people could have been my friends. I felt all of it epitomized my life from the philosophical talk to the longing looks.  High school was dealing with non-stop drama, growing up, and unrequited and sometimes requited love. I was never team Dawson and Joey. I was always team Pacey and Joey...... with emphasis on the Pacey part.

5. Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls was on for seven years, and in my opinion it should have been on for at least seven more. I was so enamored with this duo. I wished I was them. They talked fast, and were beautiful, witty, and smart. Rory was always reading these books that I would check out of the library but get bored with after the first chapter. Lorelei was the coolest mom around, and their relationship was one that I envied with every fiber of my being. The characters were unique and Stars Hollow could have easily been my small little town. I loved this show so much, that I may or may not have been inspired by one of the characters names when I named my little boy.

Did any of you love television the way I did? Or was I the only one living vicariously through imaginary television characters? What was your favorite television show growing up? 

Grateful

Yesterday was my son's third birthday party. I will share the details later this week, but for now...... I am so grateful that my son is growing up with a large support system of family and friends. We are thankful every day to have those individuals in our life. 

Squished Sleeping Quarters

Tonight I am sharing a bed with one sleeping toddler; one television watching cat; two Pillow Pets; one giant green dog, who goes by "Green Big Cup;" and one giant brown stuffed dog, who is named "Brown Big Pup." Seems crowded for a queen size bed, right? But wait, my friends, that is not all. Upon further inspection, I am also in bed with a blue Halloween pumpkin (which has a whole colony of Smurf figurines inside), and five glow sticks. Honestly? I might not get much sleep, and I might be a bit squished, but couldn't be happier.

22 things

A list is a perfect way to break out of a blogging silence! There are a lot of things in my life that I have yet to do. There are things in my life that I am sure I will never do. But here are twenty-two things that I have done. I might not be so proud of all of them, but those are the ones that are most fun to read, right?

1. Fallen in love, a couple times
2. Been pregnant and had one delightful, gorgeous baby
3. Given up a lifelong dream, for a new one
4. Gone joy riding in a car
5. Danced in the moonlight
6. Had my heart broken
7. Witnessed a physical fight
8. And stopped one from happening
9. Drank alcohol straight from the bottle (ughhhh)
10. Hugged a stranger (or two, or three....)
11. Picked up a hitchhiker
12. Snuck into an abandoned building
13. Graduated from high school, college, and graduate school
14. Gotten married
15. Skipped class to spend time kissing in a car with the one I love
16. Sang a solo (Thank goodness for fourth grade chorus concerts)
17. Saved a couple of lives (three cats, and perhaps my own)
18. Apologized when I should
19. Forgiven even when it was difficult (mostly)
20. Gazed at the stars, holding hands with a boy who gave my stomach butterflies
21. Listened to advice, but chose my own way
22. Held hands with a little boy, who looked up at me and said, "You are the best mommy ever."

Smurfy Party Inspiration

Little Logan is going to be turning three in November. When I inquired about a theme, it was his wish to have a Smurf party. I headed over to Pinterest for some party inspiration. I'm thinking of going mostly blue for the color scheme. Here is just a snippet of things that I loved!

Source: http://www.save-on-crafts.com/

 Since Smurfs are blue, how could I not love the all blue candy bar? Also, blue Twizzlers? I didn't even know those existed! Now I must try them!

Source: http://www.paperplayne.com/

Pine cone place cards would be perfect for labeling the food at the table with cutesy Smurf-type names. 

Source: http://recipes.onlinefoodgrocery.com/food-recipe/1724/baby_blue_punch_recipes.html

I also loved the blue punch. Apparently, my goal is to turn all our party guests' mouths blue. 

Source: http://www.bettycrocker.com

And no birthday party would be complete without a cake. Blue velvet cake sounds like a smurftastic way to end the day. 

Tomatoes

You know, just because.

Hug Me Tight

As I mentioned in my last post, Logan has been fighting this terrible rash. As a result, I let him snuggle in my bed with me the other night. As he was falling asleep, he asked me to lay down next to him. As I snuggled with him, he wrapped his little arms around me. "I want you to hug me tight, Mama." I was happy to do so.

Don't Be Rash

Just so you know: Before I begin this, I'll tell you the end of the story. I hate reading stories that make me nervous, so I'll tell you the end of the story. They believe that what Logan has will go away by itself and it clearly doesn't hurt. Alright.... now that that is cleared up....

Logan has this..... rash. It seemed relatively harmless looking when it started out. In fact it looked like just one tiny little blemish below his eye. The next day, while I was drying my hair, Logan came up to me and asked, "What's this, Mama?" as he rubbed his elbow. I looked at it. It looked like a couple of bumps. Being the ever diligent ball of anxiousness that I am, I decided to immediately inspect the rest of his body. A couple more on his arm, one on his face, and a couple on his leg. I'm not patient when it comes to medical things, so I phoned up the doctor and procured an appointment for as soon as possible.

At our doctor's appointment the doctor spent a great deal of time examining it. He then looked up and said, "I'm not sure what it is. I'll need another opinion." We wait for a while, and I try to distract Logan with a bead maze in hopes that he will stop trying to jump off the examining table (for fun, of course). Finally, our normal doctor comes in and I get all excited. He's been a doctor since 1986 (yes, I googled him), and he was even my doctor growing up. He spends time trying to look at it. Logan, on the other hand, has lots of plans to talk to him.

Logan: "Hi Dr. F... I have a tattoo. It is Mickey and his best friends.... Pluto and Minnie. Minnie is starting to come off. She is wearing a blue dress..... I don't know why...... Minnie wears a pink dress."

As Logan is talking his ear off, the doctor is examining his arms. He stops for a moment and says to Logan, "Wow, I didn't know that you joined the navy since I last saw you." Logan cracks up, acting like he knows what that means. Anyway, Doctor #2 still doesn't know what it is. They say it looks like chicken pox, but since it is not itchy and not on his trunk, it can't be. I'm sent home with no answers and the instructions to watch him for a couple of days.

The second day, he wakes up and at first it seems like it's all the same. By the afternoon though, it had spread more to his face and his arms and legs. I call back again with the request to have someone call me back and they say we need to come back in. I make an appointment for the next morning.

The third day.we go back and we have another doctor. He looks all over Logan as the rash has spread. He is silent the whole time. Finally he stops, and says, "I'll be right back." Five minutes later he comes back and says he thinks Logan has a Gianotti Crosti Syndrome from the result of a viral infection. It is rare, but it will go away after a couple of weeks, with no lasting side effects. Fingers crossed, that this is what it is!

I'm just glad that he's energetic and happy. He actually has lots of energy. Just today he unrolled all of the toilet paper while I was in the shower, tried to jump off a flimsy Mickey chair, and did so many somersaults that I don't know how he can see straight. I love this little boy, spots and all.

30 Day Shred: Trying to get motivated

So it's been a little while since I last posted. I've been in sort of a blogging rut. First Logan was sick and then I just slipped into a funk and couldn't seem to shake it. But alas, I'm back, and on my way to hopefully being better than ever. Within the last week, I purchased a new DVD player, and dusted off a DVD I had purchased with money from my birthday all the way back in December.

I haven't actually started it yet, but it's there every day reminding me that I should. I have hopes that in no time at all Jillian and I will be BFFs/ frenemies.  I have tried the 30 Day Shred in the past, but it was before I had a baby. I think I'm procrastinating, because I am less in shape and I know how sore I was at the beginning of the journey. I thought by officially writing it down in this blog, that this will get my booty into gear. Tomorrow, I'm busting out my tape measure. Pray for me. 

A Little Something Strange

Do you ever have your pet stare at something off in the distance for a long time? When you turn around and look you don't see anything there? My cats do that on occasion, often when I am alone in the dark. I'll turn the light on, thinking there is a bug (which is scary enough for me) and when I look..... nothing. Nothing, at least that I can see. I think I've watched one too many shows about hauntings!