Music I Once Loved

Originally posted:  March 17, 2010

For this edition we are going waaaaay back to a time when I when I wore pink spandex shorts and Keds. Green was my favorite color, but not just any green. The type of green I loved was the one that burned itself into your retinas if you stared at it too long. When I hear this song I think of summer time and running around outside all day. We had this large peach tree in the backyard and I used to try and climb it when my mom wasn't looking. I think of summers that I laid on my deck in my bathing suit reading The Babysitter's Club and wishing that I could be Stacy or Claudia, but never Kristy because she was kind of bossy and she liked sports. If I skinned my knees, I would cry, but still wear shorts. I would swing all day and play elaborate pretend games with my sister. If I happen to come across this particular song while switching songs on the radio and happening upon a easy listening oldies station, I freeze and then turn it up. I hear this song and immediately one image springs to mind. I am with a childhood friend dancing around and singing into a hairbrush. I didn't know then that this would be the beginning of using inanimate objects as pretend microphones, but oh how that moment changed my life. True that I have moved onto bigger and better things such as remote controls and the occasional kitchen spoon, but the fun of it? Well that has never changed.

Priorities

Prior to having a child, I used to be a neat freak. Everything was always clean and mostly organized in some way or another. Once I had a kid, that was kind of thrown out the window. Some days I forgo all the daily cleaning in favor of some fun with my little one. Logan will only be little for so long, and dishes will always be in the sink.

Today we went to the aquarium. Logan ran around from exhibit to exhibit, and his excitement was contagious. People kept smiling at him. He touched a sting ray, and he shouted to me, "Mama! I touched his wing!" He just loved it.

I often think that one of the best things about being a parent, the thing I am constantly trying to become better at is to live in the moment. I need to forget about the laundry, the vacuuming, and dusting and simply live. I need to enjoy the little moments and this little person.

Happy List #1

A happy list. Pretty self explanatory, I guess. Rather than focus on the negative, I'm going to focus on the positive. The things that make me happy, but might otherwise go overlooked if I didn't stop for a moment and try to be just in the moment. What made me happy today? Here is just some things:

1. The look on my child's face when he watched the fireworks we bought.

2. Two little friends, fresh out of the the pool, squished in a chair together

3. My soon to be new walkway

4. My precious, cuddly kitties who I am more grateful for each day

5. A calm night time shih-poo puppy, complete with a couple of face licks

6. Impromptu songs about My Little Ponies

7. Getting told that I give "the best hugs in the whole world."

Music I Once Loved

First posted: 11/21/09

Here is my first music I once loved. Korn. I loved Korn when I was a teenager. Listening to this song reminds me of trench coats and those lovely tall boys. I know some of you might be thinking, trench coats, really? Yes really. Although ridiculous now, they were the leather jacket of the 90's. I'd wear black eye makeup and skip classes. I listen to this and I think of my locker with the word love scratched into it (by one of those tall boys) and the butterflies that slammed around in my stomach whenever I was with him. I'm always amazed that music is able to have such a strong memory to it. And while Korn is now somewhat cringe-worthy, I'd listen to it again for that alone.

What I would miss #1

When Logan was still a chubby cheeked wobbly little five month old baby, I returned to teaching. I spent two hours commuting and then time teaching and working after school and then grading papers at home. I was devastated. I hoped it would get better, but it simply didn't, at least not for me. I would come home and my mom (who was watching him at the time) would say things like, "Oh he did [insert a milestone] for the first time!" And I would act excited, but inside, I felt like I was missing it. All of it. My school was a small school and had budget cuts. I was the last hired, so of course I was the first laid off. I probably should have been sad, but I felt like I was given a gift. I left that day, and I never looked back.

Fast forward, and my little fellow is three and a half. It has flown by so fast that I don't even know where the time possibly could have gone. I often think about what I would have missed if I had chosen the alternative. Here's just some of what I would have recently missed:

• When Logan lays on the couch watching a television show and he rests his little bare feet on my leg criss-crossed.
• The snuggle-y bed headed boy in the mornings that insists on eating non-breakfast foods or dipping his pancakes in ketchup.
• The tiny little hand that always finds its way into mine whenever we get near a parking lot.
• Today, Logan picked up a dandelion, blew on it and said, "I wish that Mommy and me will be best friends forever."

Simple things. Small things to some, but larger than life things to me. 

One Drawer at a Time

Let me clear the crickets away from this blog, and share a little bit of spring cleaning. I don't actually have a before picture. I was too ashamed. It was BAD. Witness protection program bad. I'm not even kidding. Half of the junk in the drawer was tossed into the trash. The other half was tools. I don't use tools, so there is only one culprit in this house that may have left them there (I write smugly, since I'm obviously not at fault for the mayhem). 

 My rubbery shelf liner was kind of crumpled and icky, so that was tossed in the trash as well. Once the drawer was completely empty, I vacuumed it out, wiped it out, and then put some pretty wrapping paper on the bottom. I don't know if it will last very long, but it is a colorful surprise, and it will do until I buy something else. 

I cleaned out our silverware tray and threw a bunch of stuff into the dishwasher. Our kitchen silverware drawer also doubles as a junk office supply drawer, and I didn't want to toss everything back in. But I also didn't feel like spending a million dollars on organizational stuff. I stopped at the dollar store and picked up two three packs of containers for two dollars. 

Be prepared for the big reveal, my friends....... 

Totally hot right? Hmmm.... maybe not the right word, but I'm pretty happy about it. I basically stuck like items together. Now I have a organized drawer, with one cat toy laser pointer that is randomly in with the scissors. I appreciate a little bit of chaos, after all. 

Also... I know what some of you are wondering, and yes, I do have more utensils. They were just getting squeaky clean in the dishwasher. 

Tactics

Some nights I wake up in the middle of the night and can't fall back to sleep. Actually, most nights lately. After I go to the bathroom and drink some water, I run through a rather long list of ways to get back to sleep. What do I do when I can't sleep at 2:30 in the morning? Apparently blog, and some of these:

• I try not to think about the fact that I once heard that ghost like to visit around this time. I'm a horrible wimp. 
• I just try laying there. I try to empty my mind completely. Every time a thought or anxiety creeps in I         just try to push it away.
• I count backwards from 100 to zero.
• I do a mental walk through in my head of my childhood home. I try to remember every little detail I possibly can.
• I think of things that make me happy.
• If that doesn't work, I do something for a little while. Usually, I put the tv on or go on Pinterest. I try to avoid Facebook. 
• I lay back down and if there is no going back to sleep, I wait until it starts to get light and I get up.

Do you ever have sleepless nights? What do you do to help yourself get back to sleep?